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[Get.PkQy] Frequent Flying Should Only Be For Birds

[Get.PkQy] Frequent Flying Should Only Be For Birds

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If you are a Frequent Flyer or an In-frequent Flyer, this humorous book about flying is for you! The author spent many hours in the air as a Frequent Flyer and while in the air, he wrote down his experiences which enabled him to write this book. Here comes the Jet - hear the roar, Goodbye Honey - I'm out the door, See you in a week - maybe more. It really depends on my direction, and if I can make my connection. Dallas - Seattle - Portland - LA, that's not bad in a single day. I've logged more miles than an Astronaut, And here's some things that I've been taught. I can fasten my seat belt in a flash, Buy cocktails with expense account cash. Eat a meal from a plastic tray, or hear the pilot come on and say….. ….."We're expecting some turbulance….a little rough air…so we advise you to keep your seat belt fastened and not leave your chair. Be calm…there's really no cause for alarm…by the way, we're running a little behind today. We'll only be an hour or so late but you shouldn't have any trouble making your gate. When we get the airport in sight, we'll advise you more about your connecting flight!" I guess by now you think I'm a liar but all I am is a FREQUENT FLYER! Written by the Author at 30,000 feet The book contains humorous chapters on: You know you're a frequent flyer when....; Frequent Flyer Dictionary; Quotes about flying; Airway Rules; Airline Obituaries; Flight Attendant Humor; and Flying Jokes. Here are a few samples from the chapters in this book: You know you're a frequent flyer when.....You've named your two children Douglas and Boeing.....Your ups and downs in life come from flying through air pockets and thunderstorms....You named your dog 'Delta' and your cat 'United'....You've only put 5,000 miles on your car in 5 years....You rarely see the bottom of clouds. Here are a few samples from the Frequent Flyer Dictionary chapter: -Aisle: Cattle Chute that you are shoved and pushed down when entering or exiting the aircraft; -Overhead Bin: A plastic container that passengers mistake for baggage check-in; -Food Tray: Something that can cause severe shortness of breath when the seat in front of you is suddenly folded down. And from the chapter on "Airway Rules". Here are a few samples: -Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory. -Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first. -The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival. And a few samples from the "Flying Jokes" chapter to keep you laughing: -Why does the Pope kiss the ground each time he lands Did you ever fly with Alitalia -A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "One of the engines has shut off and we'll be delayed 45 minutes." Suddenly there's another bang and loss of second engine. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours. Shortly thereafter, there is a third bang and loss of the third engine and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours. The blonde then turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, "Man, if the fourth engine shuts off, we'll be up here all day!" This book is a must read for everyone who flies and who wants to experience the therapeutic effects of laughing. This book will keep you laughing long after you've finished reading it. Vintage Birds Chapter FMCA Cyber edition of Vintage Birds Words ... Note:The following have been submitted by Wanderlodge owners as ideas only and should notbe considered as suggested ... The Birds (play) - Wikipedia The Birds (Greek: Ornithes) is a comedy by the Ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes. It was performed in 414 BC at the City Dionysia where it won ... List of fossil bird genera - Wikipedia Birds evolved from certain feathered theropod dinosaurs and there is no real dividing line between birds and dinosaurs except of course that some of the former ... Flying Squirrels - Orkin.com Facts Identification & Control Scientific Name. Northern flying squirrel (Glaucomys sabrinus ); Southern flying squirrel (Glaucomys volans) Appearance Journal of a Voyage to New South Wales - gutenberg.net.au 1st January. The new year was introduced with a pretty heavy gale of wind from the northward and westward which was the first we had encountered since we left England. The Flying Asian Cockroach Pest Cemetery Since only 1 out of the 3 you mentioned is available for sale or use Ill just speak on it. Boric acid in a dust or powdered form might be Ok short term outside but ... Fly Your Own Ultralight Airplane Used Aircraft ... Know everything you need for flying start in the ultralight aviation! ... It is your introduction and start up resource for getting a pilot's license and ... Langley Flying School Standard Operating Procedures Introduction. The purpose of these Standard Operating Procedures is to provide standardized information guidance and instruction on the manner in which flight ... travel - USA TODAY The latest travel information deals guides and reviews from USA TODAY Travel. Lady Gouldian Finches Specialty Finch ... - Frisky Finches HOUSING. Gouldian finches whether in a cage or aviary need the largest flying space affordable. A minimum flying space of 24 inches is recommended.
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